Hands Full

Baby bean’s stocking came yesterday. This morning as I see them all hanging along our banister I am filled with the realization that our family is finally complete. Complete with FIVE kids!

My living room is strewn with toys, shoes, random pieces of clothing, stuffed animals, pillows, empty mugs of hot chocolate.

My kitchen counters are covered in kix and books.

My dining room table … is clean … huh? However the chairs aren’t put away.

My kids are still in pjs at 10:30 and they are dancing their hearts away in the kitchen to Christmas music.

In this chaotic scene that is my home on a daily basis … this chaotic scene that usually drives me a bit crazy and makes me want to clean, clean, clean it all up and PLEASE can someone make the 3 year olds put underwear on … I’m finding peace.  Maybe it is because it’s Advent. The Christmas music is playing. My home is decorated although messy. My kids are being wonderful. Whatever it is I just hope I can find it again when the bleak mid-winter hits. Even if that means I have to leave my Christmas tree up till April and keep empty boxes wrapped underneath it.

Today I am thankful for schools! More precisely that my children, with the exception of baby bean, are all in school right now. AHHH the quiet. I get to enjoy my tea and banana bread without little boys sneaking sips and bits.  After yesterday’s whine and naughty fest I really need this chill time.

I’m thankful that my children can go to school. I’m thankful that while there are places in the US where the education system is poor almost every child does has access to some sort of education. I think that, here in the US, it’s something we almost take for granted. It’s something that everyone does. You go to elementary school, middle school, and high school. It’s a given. If you don’t send your kids to some sort of school people will come looking for you.

The twins only go two days a week, but believe me when I say that those two mornings from 8 to little before noon  I am in heaven. It’s quiet in my house.  Baby bean is such a good baby. Right now he is happily snoozing away in the boppy on my lap. That being said I should go snooze with him.

During this weekend I’m thankful for a lot of things, but mostly just thankful for it being the weekend. Cause let’s be serious unless you are slaving away at a job weekends are grand. My only problem is I can’t decide if I like summer weekends or fall weekends more.

Summer weekends mean swimming and pools and ice pops and gardens. It means one of my favorite smells in the world – little kids slathered in sunscreen mixed with chlorine from the pool. If this was a perfume I might wear it … well okay not really.

Fall weekends mean football in particular Packer football. It means hearty bowls of soup. Trips to the bakery down the road. It means sleeping in under down comforters. It means apple orchards and leaf piles.

Either way weekends mean pizza and movie night Fridays, errands on Saturdays, and the Sunday morning paper and going to mass on Sundays.

I love the weekends and I’m always sad when they end. So I am always very very thankful when Friday comes.

Today I am thankful for sleep.

Sleep is such a cherished commodity in this household. I think having a newborn allows us remember how simply amazing sleep is. It is precious and to be loved. Although as much as I love the newborn stage: the cuddles, the baby smell, milk comas, teeny tiny baby clothes, and everything that comes with having a baby again I seriously can’t wait till bean starts sleeping in six hour chunks. Until then I’ll be thankful for the sleep I get whenever I can get it.

Today I am thankful for modern medicine. Without it my twins would not have survived. What would my life be without their rapscallion ways.

In their baby books are the final bills from their NICU stays. Hundreds of thousands of dollars were spent in order to help them breathe and eat and thrive.

This is the reality of the NICU.  Tubes for breathing.  Tubes for eating. Wires for monitoring. Needles for the giving and removing of fluids. Modern medicine grants life. It helped me remain pregnant and then when that was no longer an option it gave my twins the chance they needed. So these pictures aren’t scary or sad to me; they convey beauty and hope.

Today I am thankful for my moms. My moms being my biological mother who carried me, birthed me, then raised me and PH’s mom, who is perhaps the greatest mother-in-law on Earth.

In our busy, crazed lives there isn’t often a chance to sit back and give thanks for all the good things that we encounter and experience on a daily basis.  Everyday in November I plan on stepping back a little and give thanks for something new and in that same vein I get back into the habit of blogging a little each day.

Today I am thankful for delicious, izty-bitzy, super-sweet, baby snuggles and steaming hot mugs of English Breakfast teas on chilly fall mornings.

What are you thankful for?

I love my boys. I really truly do, but days like this make me laugh and cry and shake my head in frustration.

These are the things that my boys did today.

1) R practiced peeing off the dining room chair into a bowl.

Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

R: I practice peeing in the bowl. Daddy showed me.

2) J fell and slipped in some of the pee I missed while running around the dining room like a maniac. He hit his head pretty hard. He promptly fell asleep standing on my lap 10 minutes later, which scared the crap out of me. I was able to wake him up 5 minutes later. Phew.

3) J put a pea up his nose. Yes, a pea. I finally got him to blow it out. Thankfully because we were about to head to the ER.  Professor husband proclaimed this the funniest phone call ever.

Me: You coming home soon?

PH: In a few. I’m meeting with a student about graduate school.

Me: Well I really need you to come home now.

PH: What’s up?

Me: Your son stuck a pea in his nose.

PH: WHAT!!! (que crazy laughter)

Me: Your son stuck a pea up his nose.

PH: Okay I’ll be on my way in a minute.

He eventually blew the pea out of his nose forgoing a trip to the ER. Thank goodness for pre-school tomorrow.

Hey bean …. Hey bean ….

It’s time to come out. People want to meet you. Also they want to know your name and I’m horrible at keeping secrets.

I’m also afraid something like this will happen.

4 pm – Water Breaks

4:05 – Frantically call Prof Husband, who rode his bike to work and it takes about 15 to 20 minutes for him to bike home

4:10 – Frantically call Sally

4:15 – Oh Shit this is starting to hurt. Breathe. Instruct C & E to let twins play computer. Stay in bathroom in case I have to deliver you myself.

4:20 – Dear Lords where is everyone?!

4:25 – Husband and Sally get here.

4:30 – In route to hospital

4:45 – Give birth in waiting room or in car in route to hospital or in grass outside hospital

So bean while this would certainly be exciting and I could bring it up every single time you did anything wrong in your future childhood, adolescence, and adulthood I would rather it not go this way.

Ever hear a song that fits you so perfectly it’s kind of scary?

As we’re driving to Virginia Professor Husband pauses a song … a song I have heard many times … and says,

“This is your song. Whenever I hear it I think of you.”

I’m thinking, “Awww how sweet” and then “uh oh it’s probably how I’m a witch.”

I actually stopped for once and listened to the whole song. Professor husband is a slight music geek and he often tells me to just listen to a song and I never quite make it through. He gets music more than I do. I’m afraid if it wasn’t for him I would be jamming out to some horrible top 100′s scary shit music. Seriously, I’m the person that has no problem rolling down the windows of my swagger wagon and singing at the top of my lungs, cause I am so cool like that.

The song is “Not California” by Hem. Here is a link to the music video on Youtube.

Hem – Not California

And the lyrics …

Who’s the girl inside of the blue-screen light
The sun is just pouring out
And everything is out of sight

Turn around the room is just black and white
She’s whispering
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na

And it’s not true
And it’s not fair
And it’s not you
And it’s not California here

Later on you’re breaking the boxes down
There’s nobody out tonight
Nobody’s hanging ’round

So you take the drive
That used to be almost right
And now it’s just empty lots around you
All these empty lots around you

And they don’t know
What you hold dear
And they can’t see
That it’s not California here

Come a time when I may just walk away
The sun is just barely out
The sky is completely grey

But you’re the one I want to be with today
Let them say
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na

And I’m not strong
And you’re not rich
And we’re not lost
Where we don’t live

And it’s not true
And it’s not fair
And they’re not us
And it’s not California here

I’m the one who wants to be with you tonight
And I’m the one who wants to be the one you’re with tonight
And I’m the one who wants to be the one you’re with tonight
And I’m the one who wants to be the one you’re with tonight

——–

Now when this song comes on I want to curl under my blankets and just cry because my husband is so right … this is my song.