The Turkey Heist

Disclaimer: No turkeys will be harmed unless they have been bought from Kaufland, which at that point harming will be a moot point because someone will have already done the dirty deed and I’ll just need to defrost and brine and cook the thing. 

Today’s dinner conversation centered around the Thanksgiving menu. What could or could we not get in Germany.

Cranberries – Yes although not canned. Okay I can deal with this.
Mashed potatoes – Easy peasy although we don’t have any kind of blender so we’ll be doing this the old fashion way.
Green beans – Yes
Pies – Yes
Turkey ….

Up until last week I wasn’t sure about the turkey. I explain this to the kids and they were perplexed. What do you mean?! Germany doesn’t have turkeys!!!

Nope, Germany doesn’t have turkeys. Europe doesn’t have turkeys. Turkeys are an American bird.  I say, “There is only one Turkey in Leipzig and it’s at the zoo.”

Em immediately says, “Okay, I have a plan …”

Em’s long drawn out plan that is constantly evolving as she is explaining it to us involves us – defined as me, Professor Husband, and Little J. The rest of the crew is at home being watched by C. Little J volunteered for this mission. – dressed all in black and sneaking into the zoo at night. We are to bring with us a knife, a bag or big pot, and headlamps.  We will climb over the fence. Chop off the turkey’s head, so it can’t struggle to much and shove it into the pot or bag. We will then grab a chicken from the chicken pen and put it into the turkey pen because, “Germans don’t even know what a turkey looks like.” And sneak back out.

R exclaims, “I’m gonna turn you into the police.”

This makes Little J cry.

Which makes me have to explain to him and to R that his sister was just making up a story and we under no circumstances are going to sneak into any zoo and make off with any turkey. Additionally, I found turkeys at Kaufland the other day!!!! So there is no need too. Also if we hadn’t found turkey we could have had duck or goose.

R says, “I’m not eating any goose! Let’s get a turkey.”

Proof of our Kaufland turkeys! They are seriously the smallest turkeys I have ever seen. This photo is deceptive.

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